Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Tampa, Florida


Ah yes, I would like you know how you came to inherit 1.3 billion people. I'm also wondering how you know they are not microwave safe you monster, but I digress. If you can promise me all 12 places and all 1.3 billion people plus land I'll take it all off your hands, but keep the wall, I don't want to keep my neighbors out.


I may or may not have a metal stove for you, but I'm a little off put by your post. I happen to like games, who doesn't? I also don't like the way you told me to have a great day. Who the hell are you anyway?! Feel free to call me OFFENDED.


I think we all know what I think about this....


Time to play some plinko!!!


I'm a little thrown off by the way you spelled "Come". Also, I think I'll wait for you to cut it down then I'll come pick it up. This tree will work well in my 20ft high living room. Can't wait to come get it!


Huh? If you throw in some diet coke you have a deal but what am I going to do with Mentos and Empty bottles?


Hi there, before I purchase this seat I just have a few questions. 1) Is this a nice car seat? 2) If I am not a single mom can I still have this? 3) HOW DID YOU KNOW MY NAME WAS TIM? 4) If I don't buy this will you still call me? Thank you.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

New York, New York

Phew, that was scary at first I thought you were selling a real missile on craigslist. Now that I think about it I'm not sure what is worse, selling a missile or old meat. I know you get what you pay for but in this case I really hope it isn't true. I'm not in the mood for the bologna missile shits.


First of all I would like to inquire as to why you have a bunch of kids coats in your closet? As for me I used to have a bunch in my closet stored next to a bunch of skeletons and maybe Daniel Tosh. I need some kids coats for my home business and would like to buy the whole bushel (is that what a grouping of them is called?). Email me back!


I have always wanted a new haircut, right now my 'do is uninteresting. I always wanted to have a haircut that looks like I fight crime in space as you have shown. That is my dream as a human being to take my bounty hunter talents to the rest of the milky way and this is my ticket in. Please tell me what can you do with this...

Make me whole!



I am confused about this "Leather" couch, would this go over well with the "ladies"? What kind of "work" does this need? Do you think I could get it for a "favor". Please let me know, btw I sure do like "talking" like this.


Hi there! These toys will be perfect for me. I plan to "wash" them and "not store cocaine" in them to "not sell to children" along with "coats". So please let me know if I can have your old dirty toys, I would also like the dead Raccoon in that target bag.


Hello, I have been looking for a classy woman like you all my life. There are a lot of gold diggers and women that like to play games, I don't sense that with you. I feel like we may be soul mates and this list of Craig may be a higher power putting us together. I am just so happy to find someone to share my bologna missile of love with.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Omaha, Nebraska

Mmm used cooking oil. I see so many uses for this. I could dare someone to drink it, maybe fix up my diesel powered car to run on this crap. Or I could fulfill some sort of fetish! Or maybe throw it out, just because you CAN put it on Craigslist for free doesn't mean someone is going to pick it up. On that note if used fluids actually do sell on Craigslist I could start an empire.



Oh boy well isn't this the safest ad I've ever seen! A USED stove that could have any sort of break in the gas hose. Oh but I can scrap it? Well sorry dude but my metal collection is way too exotic for your little free stove. Maybe I'll try to cook with it, although somehow I see the explosion looking like this...

On second thought maybe this will go well with my used cooking oil...


You know there really isn't anything wrong with this, people give away dirt and other people use it for a lot of different things, but the title of this post made me think it plays out something like this...

Right now on the Price Is Right you'll be playing PLINKO!!!

Yay!

What's our prize today?

Some Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee dirt!

Look at that smug bastard, he knows it's funny.



HELLO HARRY HARRY I WAS WONDERING IF THESE SEATS WERE STILL AVAILABLE SEEIN AS YOU STILL HAVE THIS AD UP I FIGURED SINCE I AM ALSO SOMEONE WITH TWO FIRST NAMES THAT ARE THE SAME YOU COULD CUT ME SOME SORT OF DEAL FOR MY 76 EAGLE.
--- THANKS TIM TIM




Translation: Please ladies come to my house, I will try to woo you with crappy food that I prepared poorly. After that fails I will hand you a drink with roofies in it. Then while you're passed out on the couch I will jizz on your face. Right on your face.




Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Tuesday, September 7, 2010