Greetings! I'm back! Some of you may already know me but for those of you who don't, my name is Craig Slist. I was at one point the most prominent person who took screen shots and made fun of them. I haven't been around for a while. In fact, the last time I was seen doing this was in February of 2011. Let's just say some things happened and I was in a Lexington, Kentucky jail for a while. Not to worry though, I'm out and just in time for the holidays! Let's get started shall we? What do we got?!
Jesus
Ladies and gentlemen what we have here are a pair of death tires. Think your tires grip to the road TOO well? Slap these on your car for some pants pissing excitement. You'd probably stop better if you put a pair of skis on your car.
"Free sex sofa! The wife and I bought this leather sofa to go to pound town on but it won't hold up. Good for any sexually devoid couple because it will last longer. And hey, if you're not into furniture destroying sex but are into looking like a redneck, slap a slip cover on it! No one will know you bought a sex sofa."
Every now and then you'll come across someone on craigslist who gets it. He's marketing to the hard of hearing so the title is in ALL CAPS. Brilliant. I bet he would trade his hearing aids if you had a seeing aid for his camera. Wait...was this picture taken in 2010?
"Looking for a woman with big baps for reasons. If you are that woman please contact me. But don't solicit me offers. I don't want to be solicited while soliciting. Please call....please."
This would be perfect for anyone who just bought a sex sofa but can't keep up! Only problem with this listing is they ask you to call or text...without leaving a number. So Close!
Why would you want to get any other free piece of furniture on craigslist for your furry friend? Why not get some patched together SEVEN FOOT heavy ass armoire made into a dog bed. Also, WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME I ALREADY GOT THE HEARING AID.
♛♛ YES FINALLY A PLACE TO DUMP BIG LOGS I AM HOME ♛♛
"Want to complete your gross sex set today? What we have here is a barely working but totally nasty sex tub. Pair this with your sex sofa and sex jumper for the best in creepy fornicating. First CUM first serve."
What a big log of crap. Trust me, I have friends who make money online and I know exactly how to do it. I'll let you in on the secret here.
1. Start a podcast around 2009
2. Bounce around hosts for a couple years until you find stability in 2011
3. ????
2. Bounce around hosts for a couple years until you find stability in 2011
3. ????
4. PROFIT?
5. No, no profit. I lied.
Bring your oxygen tank.
Bring your oxygen tank.
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